I think a really positive thing about going home this time was coming to the realization that my family will never be able to support me in the way that I crave. I have to take the initiative. If I need to buy food, I can’t just sit around an wait for my mom to suggest it, I have to step up to the plate (no pun intended) and ask for her to take me.
My recovery is mine. Not my mom’s, not my siblings, not my friends. If I need support, I have to ask for it. I also can’t just sit around waiting for them to give me that support. I still need to make the daily decisions to do what my body needs.
I don’t know that making the right choice will ever be easier, but it is a choice and if I want to recover I have to CHOOSE recovery EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
*Also as a side note: trying to be optimistic and focus on the positive, as opposed to dwelling on the negatives, really does make a huge difference. No it doesn’t negate the fact that there are still deeper struggles that I need to face, but going into it with a an attitude of “I can do this!” sure makes it a hell of a lot easier.