"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:1-2I've been meeting with a leader on campus from Cru, and going through a booklet about life with God. Part of the booklet had the question, "Am I ready now to surrender control of my life to our Lord Jesus Christ?" along with the previous passage.
I've surrendered my life to God, but to surrender CONTROL of my life? That's totally different. I feel very lost and conflicted on this. I want to live my life for God, for His will. But part of that is surrendering my eating disorder to Him (which is so much easier said than done). I'm so scared of letting go of something that has controlled my life for so long. I want to be able to surrender control of my life to God, but I don't want to. I feel like I'm not ready. Like I can give Him pieces of my life, but not the whole thing. Losing my eating disorder is scary, for reasons I've previously posted about.
I was also listening to WGTS (91.9) and there was a song by Casting Crowns called Thrive, where they talk about how we were made for more than ordinary life and more than just surviving, but to thrive. And without God, I can't do that. I'm not thriving. I'm living through the motions of life, but I'm not living for God, which God calls us to do.
I love that song. In PA we have a. Station 106.9 that's contemporary Christian or 89.5
ReplyDeleteJulia H.
What do you mean by surrendering control of your life vs. surrendering your life?
ReplyDeleteI'm not really good at explaining it, as I'm still kind of learning it myself. But basically when I say to surrender my life, it means to give my life to God, to acknowledge that I am sinful and that God died on the cross for my sins, and reconciling my sins with God. I'm giving my life to Him, and I am now a child of God. To surrender CONTROL of my life to God, means I'm giving up all control of my life and putting it in His hands. I'm letting go of everything, and living for the Lord, and handing my burdens to Him. I don't know if that made any sense at all. It's probably not explained as well as it could be.
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